Can’t sleep with all these thoughts inside my head

( but I’m Still thankful)

could have been writing suicide notes in stead

I pick up my thoughts and put them in a word

Now let me flash back to how all of this occurred

Life full of pain

Self full of pride

Both make a mess when the two of them collide

But all I feel is nothing my emotions all stale

The only thing I care for is that number on a scale

The Blackouts The flatlines this is what I crave

The obsession will destroy you until you’re nothing but a slave

Body so weak, I could barely even stand

But Still have to do what E.D. demands

“You aren’t worth living, you’ll be better dead”

These are the only thoughts that are left inside my head

surrounded by strangers one gave me a smile

Questions start to flood my mind like “maybe I should stay a while?”

Not just one stranger but also quite a few

I’m thankful for those “strangers” and perhaps one was you

Faces full of hope words full of life.

“Maybe I deserve to live?”

But Just without the strife.

Sitting in an office, and I’m crying in a chair

They say I’m not alone “believe me God is there”

“What does God know?” I said under my breath

The only thing I pray for was Him to grant me death

A few years passed and i think I’m finally living

But deep down inside I still know something’s missing

God where are you? Where have you been all of these years?

“I have been right beside and have faced all of your fears.”

Trust me with your pain and trust me with your pride

I’ll teach you what it means, what it means to be alive



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