Cynical

Tell us why Joy are you so cynical
You point out the sins others would never know

Why do you see the negative all of the bad
Wait, Don’t tell me, are you always this sad?

Let me tell you why I don’t trust what I see
Because it happened yeah it happened to me

A kid growing up in an unhappy home
Not something that you would have ever known

From the outside yeah everything looked perfect
But in reality abuse and addiction you would have never knew it

See my mom and my dad they liked to fight
Most days it’s what I fell asleep to at night

All of the bed time stories they came to an end
And What I heard was yelling and shouting instead

One would get mad and fight with the other
But when people were watching they acted like lovers

The marriage was empty and completely fake
But a show put on for the money they could make

Fighting and screaming when that wasn’t enough
Things got physical and started to get rough

They would hit each other or anything in their way
Degrading each other to see how long the other would stay.

If one left the kids were used against each other
Manipulation that what was taught to us kids and my brother

Tried to open up and tell an adult
But when I tried it ended In assault

I was in pain and looking for a bandage
But instead I was taken advantage

Went to my mom and in shame I cried
But she didn’t believe me she told me I lied

For years I was molested never given a chance
Till it hurt so bad to physically stand

I pleaded again I pleaded for help
But was only ignored left to fend for myself

Thought with family you’re supposed to be safe
But “Nothing happened” it was all “fake”

Now you see why I’m cynical you see why I judge
When you’ve been to church all your life and you seen this much

Put on a suit and you talk about Jesus,
Come home from church then what, you beat us?

You tell the sinners to come to an altar
Yet you abandon your kids neglect being a father

You preach another sermon tell people to tithe
But come home to family and start abusing your wife

As for the wife no she’s not innocent
Of the two probably most manipulative

Used her kids to to play music to make her some money
For an addiction to shopping that she thinks is funny

Rotten food in the fridge some 11 years old
If you’re wondering ya it was covered in mold

Useless things collected out at the stores
These are the things she likes to hoard

I had gotten a little bit older and made a few friends
But that didn’t last long it all came to an end

She used her friends, all the good people
There’s more to that story ya there’s a sequel

But for now that where I’ll close
You’ll here some later I suppose

And if you wonder why I hesitated to step in a church
It’s because buried secrets and all of the hurt

Couldn’t see God because all of the drama
Hard to look past when these are your dad and your mama

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