Why you should be miserable.

In reflection, this year has been an amazing year with extreme ups and downs. It’s hard to believe 2017 is coming to a close! For me, there were several months of dark days (See Healing from Spiritual Abuse and Forgiving My Abusers), but there were also some pretty amazing ones. I found freedom from a lifelong abusive family relationship (See Sept 3 Facebook Post), met new friends, reunited with old friends, moved into our first home, started this blog, and so much more!

Regardless of all of the pain, in hindsight, this year has made me so much stronger than the last.

I was talking with someone a few weeks ago about finally seeing the other side of a really dark place. I finally feel as if I can envision God’s plans and I’m beginning to feel happy again. But part of me does not know what to do with these feelings.

When you are emotionally manipulated your whole life, it’s hard to grasp the concept of freedom.

It has in some ways made me think, “Do I really deserve to be this happy?” and  “Shouldn’t I be miserable?”. I especially feel this way when others start to share their problems and hurts with me. “Shouldn’t I be in pain too?”

It can be hard to not feel somewhat guilty for not being in a dark cloud when your friends might be going through something. But here’s what I learned:

Life comes in seasons. There will be another dark cloud and another demon to fight, they will come back. But for now, it’s ok to dance. Empathize with your loved ones, because you really do know how they are hurting. But don’t be upset with yourself for being happy. It’s finally your turn.



I hope you keep these “thinks” in your heart for the holidays as you comfort those around you that may still be walking through a cloud. And if that person is you, take time to heal. Your heart needs time to rest.

I love you all so much. Thank you for reading this weeks Thinks. And please never hesitate to reach out.



 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4


The Toys for Texas campaign is next week!!! I am so amazed by the donations and love that you have sent our way. Be sure to follow the mission on my Facebook Page. I will be posting updates as we go to Texas next week. Thank you!



  1. Thank you for writing these blogs because it helps me through the tough times. Your words help me out a lot this year I had been full of ups and downs but because I have a hard time expressing my feelings your blog helps me. Love ya Joy! 💚

    Liked by 1 person

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