Are you pretty?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and just sighed?

What are you talking about Joy? We’ve all done that…

Of course you have. But if I’m being honest I thought it was a great introduction question. No other fancy reasons.
But let’s be real, we’ve all asked ourselves something along those lines. But why do we think like that? Is it because society tells us we have to look a certain way? Or is it because your co-worker or classmate is “prettier” than you? Is it because you’ve dated absolutely garbage men who have put down your looks?
Yes, yes, it has to be all of these reasons. And in fact if all of those reasons were eliminated, we would no longer feel badly about ourselves… Right?

Or am I?

While I understand it’s hard not to look at our bodies and feel somewhat uncomfortable after looking at those that are digitally airbrushed and altered, we need to stop calling thin women “fake” and curvy women “attention seekers”. There is nothing more degrading when women attack each other over physical appearance or make false assumptions about each other only based on their looks.

In today’s thinks I want to share with you a few thoughts on body positivity and how we as women can strengthen each other in a back stabbing world.

Am I pretty?

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I’ve definitely asked myself this question more than once. And if we’re all being honest in here, we’ve all asked that question. Maybe not verbally, but you have looked at yourself in the mirror to make a decision of if you look or feel attractive that day. And to this question, I have to say you are your own answer.

 

“No amount of makeup can mask an ugly heart.”
-Kevyn Aucoin

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Regardless of the rest of society’s opinion, we are all pretty in our own unique ways. Your eyes may be pale blue, your hair may be curly, you might have freckles, etc. Your uniqueness is what makes you physically beautiful, but above the outward appearance, it’s your heart that makes you pretty. We all have physical flaws we like to criticize and may not be able to control. But the way we treat others and ourselves is something that we can have full control over. Who you choose to be can be the difference between a pretty and an ugly heart.

Misfit Makeup

In a recent study we did in our church’s youth group, we taught the teens that those who follow Christ are to be a difference or a “misfit” in our culture. This isn’t referring to being cultishly strange. This is talking about the way we live out our lives infront of others and when no one is watching.

If it’s absolutely normal for “society” to tear other women down and make negative comments about their physical appearance, the misfit thing to do in this situation is to do the opposite. It feels like any women’s magazine we open, we are allowed to backstab, pick other women apart for weight gain, weight loss, new haircuts, and everything else. It’s deemed acceptable to look down on other women.

But should this be ok?

The answer would be, no. If Christ calls His followers to be distinctly different and loving, this type of behavior would not be ok. We are called to love.

Body Positivity

The funny thing that I’ve found is that usually the people who make the most unkind comments about others are the most insecure about themselves. I have heard ugly comments from women in every body and face type possible. And I have also heard the kindest complements from women with every body shape.  So before we approach the words that are being spoken out of us, we have to look inward to the words we speak to ourselves.

Often times the way we think of ourselves, comes out in the way we treat others. 

If you struggle with this, I completely understand. It’s not easy waking up every morning and not having anything mean to say about yourself. Trust me! I especially struggled with this after I started to recover from Anorexia. Regardless of the people’s assumptions that Anorexics think they are beautiful because they are often severely skinny, this assumption is quite far from the truth. I have never had a more negative image of myself than when I was Anorexic. In fact I HATED my body. The words I would say to myself and the words others would say to me are words I would NEVER say to anyone. They were hurtful and unkind.

Be Kind to Yourself

It’s not as easy as deciding one day that you are going to stop picking apart your flaws. It’s a daily struggle and choice. There are some days that I am negative towards myself and only see what I don’t like.

 

Try finding one thing that you like about yourself every day, just one. And it doesn’t have to be about anything physical if you don’t feel comfortable doing that just yet. You could say something to yourself like, “I like who I am because I am a supermom.”, “I like who I am because I am a girl boss”, or “My makeup may not have turned out today, but my hair is on fleek!”

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Your words to yourself are just as powerful as the words others say to you. And to many of us we have listened to the negative words from others for too long, they have become our own. It’s time to break free. Because if no one’s told you yet,

Girl YOU are gorgeous! 

Be Kind to Others

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There’s nothing more powerful than a positive complement. Imagine that negative thought you had about yourself this morning when you were brushing your teeth. I can guarantee you that the girl infront of you at Starbucks or the mom at the pickup line had the exact same thoughts this morning.

 

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”
– Audrey Hepburn

Say something kind. Maybe it’s about her sense of style, the makeup she chose, about her earrings, or anything. If you find something positive, do be afraid to share! There is nothing more unbreakable than strong women who are not afraid to lift each other up!

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Today’s thinks is dedicated to all the beautiful strong women in my life. Thank you all so much for lifting me up and encouraging me. There are too many of them to put in photos or tags. But I want to thank you all for your friendship!
I hope today’s thinks was an encouragement to you! I hope it has also inspired you in some way to be more kind to yourself and those around you. I hope you have a great week and I’ll see you guys soon!

Joy

 

PS

Thank you all so much for your donations to Toys for Texas!!! Here are some of the donations we have received so far. THANK YOU!!!

 

 

Amazon Donation

Go Fund Me

 

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2 comments

  1. Hi Joy,

    wonderful post.I must say in what I believe 🙂
    I believe that we are living in such society where we have a lot of “so called experts” for fashion, for beauty, for style .And they impose to us dress models, appearance models.People just want to be “IN” , and they accept that models, but somewhere along the way lose itself.Because of that we have an army of dissatisfied people.

    I agree with you, We are all beautiful .We are unique and that is our power 🙂

    Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

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